Destiny is for Losers

I had to read about fatalism in philosophy, which is basically the idea that everything in existence is fated to exist for some sort of necessity.  In other words, we really can't do anything to change what is to come (because it's been fated), and we really can't do anything beyond the scope of what we already do (because it won't make any difference).  No matter what decisions we make, and no matter how much illusion we have of free will, the ending that we're going to get is inevitable.

Well, I refuse to believe in this.

I just can't accept that we are all fated to end up in a certain way.  I mean, that just makes life sound sad and meaningless (oh hey existentialism) -- like, what are you supposed to live for?  And what if you don't like your fate?  What's the point in doing anything?  

I know my reasoning is purely sentimental, but honestly, so what?  I'd rather live blinded by passion and the idea that I have control over my life than to resign to fate.  I mean, life is worth it because we get to control how we live.  Whether you want to be an elephant trainer or a doctor, whether you want to get married and have kids or start a bunny farm, you have control over what you choose to do and what you choose not to do.

In middle school, I religiously read the Gossip Girl series by Cecily von Ziegesar (the books are infinitely better than the TV show, trust me), and there was this quote that really stuck with me.  And you may laugh at me, but I still think of this quote whenever I need a little motivation.

(Obvi not my pic)

The moral of the story?  Take control.  You do you.  Carpe diem.  YOLO.  Go throw some glitter and make it rain. 

Because You're Worth It

(Obvi not my pic)

Closet Staples

So I'm currently in the process of trying to fit my closet into a single "immigration" suitcase (which is surprisingly very small).  It's really stressing me out and I might end up with a few strands of grey/white hair, but it also got me thinking about what I consider my "fashion staples."

Even though there are a billion fashion articles on classic closet must-have's, I decided to make my own list and share with you all.

One.

LBD.  Le duh.  Or if you're like me, 3+ LBDs.  It looks good on everyone, and it's fitting for every occasion!

Just look at how perfect Audrey Hepburn looks in Breakfast at Tiffany's:

(Obvi not my picture)

Two.

A pair of dark jeans that you feel awesome in.  Look, we all know that jeans are super comfortable and versatile, and honestly I don't care how "low fashion" they are because I'm not going to stop wearing them.  I'm especially a fan of 7 For All Mankind and Joe's.  And even though they are a little pricy, they're totally worth it, because 1) you can literally wear them with anything, 2) they last forever, and 3) you really shouldn't have more than like 4 pairs of jeans.

Three.

A comfortable cardigan.  I mean, I just love cardigans, and if I could have one for every color, I totally would.  But for the sake of packing, I've resorted to two -- a black one and a navy blue one.  Some of the great (and affordable) places for cardigans are J.Crew, Anna Taylor, and Zara. 

Four. 

A white button down.  And other colors, too.  Button down shirts are great, because you will always look classy and very put together.  Oh, and if you're a brave soul, you should totally rock bright colors and crazy patterns!  (Snaps to you)

My favorite button downs are definitely Ralph Lauren's Oxford Shirts.  

Five.

Sweaters!  Okay, I totally lied about cardigans, because I'm pretty sure I love sweaters more than I love cardigans.  Lacoste has some really great colors, especially their green one!

Oh, and lopapeysa.  This is an Icelandic sweater that I've been trying to get for ages.  It looks like this:

(Obvi not my picture)

Six.

Northface.  So warm, so comfortable, so perfect.  Honestly, it's really worth it to invest in one. 

Seven.

Yoga pants/leggings.  #sorrynotsorry

Eight.

A peacoat.  I have one from J.Crew that I bought two years ago, and it's literally a life saver.  Peacoats are the reason you can look fashionable and be warm at the same time, and if that's not enough, then I don't know what is.

Nine.

Sweatshirts/pullovers.  In my opinion, the best ones are from your college, a group affiliation, or a sports team.  But Vineyard Vines has some great ones (but a little pricey), and so does Patagonia.

Ten.

Scarves.  Do I even have to explain this one?  Scarves are just perfect.  Especially cashmere ones, because they're so soft and warm and ugh.

Eleven.

A pair of boots, flats, and heels.  I'm lumping them all together under the shoes category.  I really love Lucky Brand's riding boots, because they have great colors and classic designs that fit you really well.  I prefer brown boots over black ones, but that's just me.  For flats, I have a pair of black ones from Calvin Klein that I love and a pair of nude ones from Tory Burch (obvi).  And as for heels, I'm a huge fan of BCBG -- I literally adore my black pair from BCBG Paris line.

Twelve. 

Hats.  I'm talking one baseball cap, one cute winter hat that isn't a beanie, and one lumberjack hat (yes, I'm weird).  My hair doesn't like to cooperate on a lot of days (perfect Asian hair genes never got to me), so hats are really my last hope to look somewhat normal. 

Now, let's just hope that all of these things can fit into my suitcase!  If not, I'm giving up and declaring myself a nudist.

Because Writing is Always Right

I started writing letters a few years ago -- mainly to show off my cursive -- and ever since then I've been hooked.  It's like writing a diary, except it's better because you get a response back (well, sometimes).  And it's fun to use fountain pens (oh hey fancy calligraphy).  Also you look super chic.  And you get to go buy pretty stationery and cards, which is really therapeutic and satisfying.  

Yes, I am on a mission to bring back letter writing, and here are some reasons why you should join me:

One.

Your handwriting gets better.  And your spelling.  We're so used to typing (and spellchecking) everything that we start sucking at writing.  Like how many people can actually write in cursive comfortably?  Or have a handwriting that doesn't look like it belongs to a third grader?  Or correctly spell "separate" and "definitely" without pausing a little? 

Two.

You get up close and personal when you write letters.  Something about writing makes me want to spill my soul to the other person, and it's really cathartic and refreshing.  I call this the diary effect: you start getting really deep and reflective and maybe even a little emotional.  And the next thing you know, you're professing your love to the other person and telling them about how nature inspires you (but actually).  Talk about being romantic!

Three.

Stationery.  Oh my god, I'm obsessed with buying them.  I love the the different colors and the little designs and the monograms.  And obviously, you use different ones for different occasions -- it's like picking out an outfit but better.  Oh, and have I mentioned how therapeutic stationery shopping is?  

Some of my stationery crushes:

1. "You Can Do It!"

2. Iznik Tile

3. "You're a Fox"

4. Jackie Glasses 

Four.

Handwritten notes can change your life.  Seriously.  Whether it be personal or professional, handwritten notes show that you really, really care.  You're essentially saying, "Hey, you mean a lot to me, so I'm actually going to sit down with a pen and paper to tell you how great you are instead of typing out an acronym-filled email/text via iPhone."  And at the end of it, you're going to feel just as good about sending that letter as the person getting it.  (Unless, of course, you're sending a not-so-happy letter.)

The main conclusion from all this?  Writing letters is basically an easy way to class up your life.  And you should do it.

So can we be pen pals now?

PS.  Don't forget this, too.

(obvi not my picture)

What I Consume Everyday

I recently realized that I am very routine-oriented when it comes to what I eat, which is kind of funny because I've always considered myself to be an impulsive eater.  So I thought it would be fun to make a list of my "essentials," which I'm going to share with you all.
Oh, and please note that these are not the only things I eat in a day -- you actually don't want to know how much I eat, because it'll scare you. 

One.

Vitamins on vitamins on vitamins.  I'm a huge fan of Nature Made brand.

1. Biotin -- it's good for your hair and nails apparently

2. Flaxseed Oil -- I actually don't know what this does, but apparently it's super good for you

3.  Probiotics -- oh hey, healthy digestive system 

4. Super B Complex -- again, no idea what this does

5. Iron -- I'm anemic eeeeek

Two.

Plain unsweetened Kefir.  I'm not going to lie, this actually tastes super gross, but I'm like really into it.  Plus yay more probiotics!  And calcium!  And whatever else is in it!

Three.

Apple.  I literally have an apple a day (such a great breakfast food), and when I don't have one I get really cranky and sad.  It's my favorite fruit in the world, and obviously it's really good for you. 

Four.

Coffee and/or tea.  I'm really into Trader Joe's coffee when I'm brewing my own -- it's got a super exotic aftertaste/zing to it!  And for teas, I'm a huge fan of Yogi's green tea kombucha.

Five.

Chocolate soy milk -- obsessed.  Especially this one.  I go through like two cartons a week.

And now here is a picture of my fridge:

Sorority Girl Revelation

(obvi not my pic)

So the Greek community has been facing a lot of negative publicity these days, starting with hazing and racial discrimination and cunt punting.  And obviously, these cases are all very cringe-worthy and embarrassing and gross, and I'm super glad that something is being done about them.  And I'm also super glad that the majority of the Greeks across the country are coming together to point out the wrong.

Snaps to that!

And now I'm going to share more things about being in Greek that deserve snaps, specifically as a sorority sister.  Of course, I can't speak for every sorority girl out there, but I hope that many of you will find yourselves nodding along to some of my realizations:


One.
Friends.  Oh my god, I can't even start with this one.  And don't give me the whole "you're buying your friends" spiel, because that doesn't even make sense.  Like, you can't buy friendship, especially true friendship.  Plus, if I could pay for the friends that I have now, I'm seriously underpaying.

I've met some of the best people by joining my sorority, by going to mixers and formals and whatever else, and by starting conversations with, "wait, you're a Greek, too?"  And don't forget about the alumni, because they're still there to play with you.  Honestly, I can't think of anything better for networking than being in Greek.

Also, my sorority family.  I finally got a little last year, and I actually teared up in the middle of a Madeon concert when I found out that I got her.  And now she's going to be in England with me -- eeeeeeeek!

God, now I'm getting all sentimental about my friends.  Literally missing them all so much that it hurts.


Two.
You always have someone to sit with on the first day of class.  Unless you're taking obscure classes like Japanese (oh hey), there is a super high chance that you will have at least one sister in your class.  And while this sounds like a silly biddie problem, let me just tell you how socially anxious it is to walk into a lecture and being like, "Uh... time to go sit by myself and fidget with my hair.  God, why didn't I fill my thermos with wine?!"

I'm also going to throw in the fact that you will always have someone to do stuff with.  Pole dancing?  Check.  An art gallery opening?  Check.  A party at a sketchy frat basement? Check, check, check.


Three.
You learn how to be a leader.  Obviously, there are so many leadership opportunities within the sorority that you can partake in, but I'm not just talking about those.  You don't have to have an E-Board position to be a leader; you're a leader just by being a sister.  I mean, think about it: there are pledge classes below you who look up to you; there is your little (and grandlittles) who turns to you; and there are other sisters who come to you for support.  You learn to think not only for yourself, but for others as well.  You learn to act your best, even when you feel like watching Netflix and binge eating in your bed.  You learn to see that there is so much you can do to help and contribute -- not just in your chapter, but also in your community and in the world.

Like hello?  No wonder that 85% of the Fortune 500 executives were Greek.


Four.
The memories.  Look, it's not always going to be all fun and games, but for the most part, it actually is.  And it's not always a wild rager with red solo cups and keg stands -- I mean, yes, that happens, but it's not the only thing.  I'm talking about corny things like community service and sister bondings.  I'm talking about wearing matching apparels and bows and neon things without feeling self-conscious.  Late night noms and hungover Chinese and sundress brunches.  Shamelessly throwing what you know and sorority squatting in every picture and snapping instead of clapping.  Oh, and constantly using #sorrynotsorry both on Twitter and in real life.


So what do you think?

Let's Get Physical: iPod Dancing

I've got 99 problems, and they're all calories.

No, but seriously.  I'm not one of those people who can eat a bowl of salad and be full for the rest of the day (like who are you), and I certainly am not one of those people who "don't do carbs."  Like, have you had pizza?  Cake?  A Chipotle burrito?! 

So the only way for me to maintain a somewhat healthy weight is through fitness.  Or as I like to call, living #datfitnesslife.

And iPod dancing is the way to go.  Yes, it's a little embarrassing (which is why I recommend you do this in the privacy of your own room), but it's super easy and it totally works.  Put in your earphones and dance for the next five songs and bam -- 15+ minutes of cardio.  

If you're saying no to this because your can't dance, I'm going to stop you right there.  Like, I'm not a good dancer by any means; I mean, I don't even know how to dance.  So instead I literally jump up and down and throw my arms in the air like I don't even care (which I don't).  Oh, and sometimes I even make a few attempts to twerk like Miley, but that usually ends with me pulling a muscle in the back.  No bueno.

  

I'm going to share some of my go-to songs that you should totally check out:

1.  "Anticipating" by Britney Spears

2. "Come On Over" by Christina Aguilera 

3. "The Boys" by Nicki Minaj ft. Cassie

4. "Diva" by Beyonce 

5. "Pretty Girl Rock" by Keri Hilson ft. Kanye West
6. "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha

Now dance your way to this hot bod!

(Obvi not my pic)

Biddie Reads: Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg

This book changed my life.

And now I'm going to gush about how everybody needs read this book stat.  Like, go buy a copy (totally worth the $12.81 plus tax) right now, because this book is what you've been missing in your life. 

Sheryl Sandberg is the current COO of Facebook, which is a huge deal because well, it's Facebook.  And because she's a woman in a very male-dominant industry.  And because she's literally brilliant.  And she's also really pretty.

 Now, now, let's not panic -- this book is not an anti-men, burn-your-bras feminist manifesto.  I mean, it kind of is a feminist manifesto, but only in a sense that she addresses gender inequality issues (i.e. gender roles, wage gap, etc.) that are so blatant in the society.  The majority of the book is about empowering women and men to see what is wrong with the picture and strive for a better one.  It's about becoming an assertive self-advocate, a compassionate leader, a nurturing parent, an encouraging friend -- a better person in general.

Sorority snaps on sorority snaps!

Now here are the things that I highlighted (yes, I highlight my books) in my copy:

One.

Sandberg's Barnard College commencement speech: "I hope you find true meaning, contentment, and passion in your life.  I hope you navigate the difficult times and come out with greater strength and resolve.  I hope you find whatever balance you seek with your eyes wide open.  And I hope that you -- yes, you -- have the ambition to lean in to your career and run the world.  Because the world needs you to change it.  Women all around the world are counting on you.

So please ask yourself: What would I do if I weren't afraid?  And then go do it."

Two.

"Heidi/Howard" experiment conducted by Columbia Business School professor Frank Flynn and New York University professor Cameron Anderson revealed that, "success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women." 

In layman's term, this means that ambitious women are considered bitches and ambitious men are praised for being the man.  Mind blown.  And yet so accurate.

  

Three.

Career vs. Family: the Ultimate Battle for Women

Why is this even an issue that women need to consider?  Why can't you keep doing what you love and also have a family -- why do they have to be mutually exclusive? 

"Imagine that a career is like a marathon -- a long grueling, and ultimately rewarding endeavor.  Now imagine a marathon where both  men and women arrive at the starting line equally fit and trained.  The gun goes off.  The men and women run side by side.  The male marathoners are routinely cheered on: 'Lookin' strong!  On your way!'  But the female runners hear a different message.  'You know you don't have to do this!' the crowd shouts.  Or 'Good start -- but you probably won't want to finish.'  The farther the marathoners run, the louder the cries grow for men: 'Keep going!  You've got this!'  But the women hear more and more doubts about their efforts.  External voices, and often their own internal voice, repeatedly question their decision to keep running.  The voices can even grow hostile.  As the women struggle to endure the rigors of the race, spectators shout, 'Why are you running when your children need you at home?'"

Four.

We all need to help each other, because that's the only way we can really improve.  Especially women.

Sandberg quotes the former secretary of state Madeleine Albright, who said, "There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."

Now, do you think we can change the world together? 

(PS.  None of these pictures are mine, obvi)

Fall in Love with Fall

I know it's a super biddie thing to say, but fall really is my favorite season of the year.  And if you're not already nodding with me, then just hear me out and maybe I can convince you!  Now, obviously fall is the season of pumpkin spice lattes and sweater-leggings combo and football, but those are not the only reasons that make fall so amazing:

One.

Everything is so much prettier in the fall.  And if you're not going fall foliage watching like me (yes, this is a thing), then you're really missing out.  You need to go outside and walk/drive around and admire how beautiful Mother Nature can be.

*Song recommendation: "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall

("After the Rain" by Leonid Afremov *not my picture)

Two.

Apple picking.  Pumpkin picking.  Everything picking.  What's better than wearing flannels and picking your own food?  Also, it's such a perfect chance to rock that New England rugged look.  Plus, you can tell your friends how healthy you are -- I mean, these are all organic, right?  

Oh, and don't forget pies.  And caramel covered apples.  And pumpkin bread.  And basically everything foodgasmic.

Side note: my favorite apples are honey crisps and ginger golds.  You should definitely try them, because they will change your life.

(These are ginger golds!)

Three.

New highlights.  Okay, maybe this is just me, but I always go get my hair done in the beginning of the fall.  It's mostly for self-empowerment -- I literally step out of my hair salon feeling like I can take on anything.  Plus, what's better than going back to school knowing you look just as good as you feel? 

Sorority snaps to self-empowerment!

  

Four.

This brings me to the last and the most important reason why fall is amazing: it's a new start.  It's time for you to go buy a new calendar and get a new wardrobe and set new goals and and try new things.  It's time for you reinvent yourself and start over again.

I mean, even F. Scott Fitzgerald agrees with me on this.  He writes in The Great Gatsby that, "Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall." 

So what are you waiting for?  Go carpe diem! 

PS.  Read this Emily Dickinson  poem and fall in love:

"The morns are meeker than they were,

The nuts are getting brown;

The berry's cheek is plumper,

The rose is out of town.

The maple wears a gayer scarf,

The field a scarlet gown.

Lest I should be old-fashioned, 

I'll put a trinket on."